The Small Stories That Shape Us

October 10, 2025

The Stories You Don’t Realize Matter (Until Someone Hears Them)

We are in the throes of testing Self Told in preparation for our first round of beta users, which means I’m recording all sorts of stories these days. When I first started building Self Told, I had a mental list of the “obvious” ones — the foundational stories everyone assumes they’ll tell someday.

“How my wife and I net.”
“What I felt on the day my daughter was born.”
“What important life lessons I learned from my parents.”

I recorded all of those early on, back when the idea for Self Told still felt more like an experiment than a product. They were the easy stories — the top-tier, clearly important family history staples.

But now, nine months into this journey, I’ve officially run out of the “standard” stories. And yet I’m still recording almost daily as we head down the home stretch and run our final rounds of testing.

Part of that is necessity – there is still more testing to be done. Part of it is enjoyment – it’s amazing to see this thing take shape. And part of it is that I’ve deputized my wife and daughter as quality assurance engineers — also known as free testing labor — so I feel obligated to make my 48th and 49th and 50th story at least somewhat interesting. I don’t want them falling asleep mid-audio. The bar is low, but it exists.

My wife might remember wrestling the kids into one place long enough to get a photo — a tradition we’ve kept since the year my daughter was born, resulting in a decade-long series of pictures featuring varying levels of cooperation.

So I’ve been dipping into the kinds of stories I’d never originally planned on recording:
What I did after school as a kid. (Not a long story, given the size of my hometown.) Where my favorite place to live has been.

Why I didn’t follow my father into medicine.

These felt like filler — the stories between the “real” stories. The ones you don’t think of as particularly important.

And then something surprising happened.

After a long test session, my wife said, “I found the story about why you became a U.S. citizen really interesting. I never heard that before.”

We’ve been together almost 30 years. I was convinced we had covered every topic, told every story, revisited every memory. I would have bet money that nothing I recorded during story number fifty-something would stand out.

But she had never heard that story.

And it struck me:
Sometimes the stories we dismiss as small or unremarkable are the ones that land the hardest with the people we love.

Rediscovering the “Small” Stories

Now, as I approach recording my 87th story, I feel like I’ve found a new sense of purpose. I’m not just recording for testing anymore. I’m intentionally digging into the recesses of my mind — at least what’s left of it — to uncover those seemingly insignificant experiences that quietly shaped me.

Don’t get me wrong: the top-tier, big-family-history stories are important. They matter. And I strongly recommend recording them. To make that process easier, we included more than hundred story prompts inside Self Told — everything from how your parents met to the traditions you grew up with. These prompts help make sure the foundational stories get captured, the ones about where your family came from, how you came together, and the experiences that shaped who you all are today.

Not a Self Told customer? No problem. Use the Contact Us form on our website and request our list of prompts — we’re happy to share.

But here’s the thing: the secondary and tertiary stories matter too.

All those little memories — the after-school routines, the unexpected decisions, the places you lived, the people who influenced you for a few months or a few years — they all left a mark. They shaped your character, your perspective, your path.

And the people who love you? They often don’t know them. Or they’ve forgotten them. Or, like my wife, they’ve simply never heard them.

You never know which story will strike a chord.

Prompts Are a Guide, Not a Boundary

If you’re curious about something your family member hasn’t talked about — something not covered in our included prompts — Self Told makes it easy to ask. You can create your own custom question when you send a story request. “Tell me about a time you felt really brave.” “What was your favorite birthday as a kid?” “What sparked your interest in a career in technology?”

And if you’re doing this yourself without Self Told, that works too. Send a text with a question. Ask them to record an audio message on their phone and share it with you. Just make sure you store that recording somewhere safe — preferably in the cloud — so the story doesn’t disappear the way so many family stories tend to.

All Our Stories Deserve a Place to Live

This process has reminded me of something important: We all have more stories than we think.

Not just the highlight-reel moments — but the quieter ones that reveal who we are and how we became that way.

And while it’s easy to assume everyone already knows those stories, they often don’t. Even the people who’ve known you the longest.

That’s why I’m still recording. And why I’ll keep going long after testing is done.

Because every story — big, small, serious, or silly — helps the people we love understand us just a little better. And someday, those are the stories they’ll be grateful we took the time to tell.

Prasantha